It’s only a cold

So, I’ve been back at work a week. It was a struggle keeping awake in the afternoons and I needed early nights so had to cancel a few things I had planned for the evenings to ensure I got enough sleep. But, the important thing was that I did it – I got through the week’s work and commute successfully.
However, on Friday evening I had a sore throat, and yesterday I felt wiped out from a cold. I had to cancel volunteering at football and cancel going out with friends in the evening. I possibly could have pushed myself to go, but it was the sensible thing to do – to just stay wrapped in a duvet sipping tea and taking paracetamol.
A few friends have been sympathetic, but some have suggested I went back to working too soon, or that I should have just gone back part-time. A few have criticised my vegan diet, not realising that I probably monitor my nutrient intake a lot more closely than they do. Last night I started questioning these things myself – had I pushed myself too far? Should I have had another month not working? I felt bad. I felt I’d let myself down and I felt I’d let others down by agreeing to a contract that I might not be able to fulfil. I considering writing my resignation, I considered giving up on my course again, I didn’t know what to do. I felt a complete failure again.
But then I remembered all the statuses I’d seen on my Facebook feed over Christmas, all the people who’d had colds. I wouldn’t tell them to give up work because of a cold. It was a huge thing for me to get through last week, why was I letting people tell me I shouldn’t be doing it? I should at least give it a few more weeks to see how it goes before making a decision – preferably when I’m not suffering from a head cold!

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