Never has my future seemed as less clear than at the moment.
It’s almost a year since I first gave up my established career path for something new. Lots of friends have commented on how much happier and healthier I’ve been since I stopped working where I worked before. I don’t think I’ve had a full blown vertigo attack since and have been much better at taking a break and resting when I’ve felt I’ve been pushing myself too much.
I’ve had a successful time at the work placements I’ve had, and have been able to enjoy assisting refugees with English conversation. I’ve started to increase the amount of exercise I do, I’ve made good progress with editing my novel and I have started to learn to play the ukulele. Everything on those sides of things is going great.
So what’s the problem? The problem is that I need to make a decision about what to do come the end of August. The world is my oyster – I have loads of options. I’m applying to train to be a secondary school Maths teacher, I’ve seen a great job in my old career path that would be perfect for me, and I’ve been offered a job to teach English in Shenzhen, China.
The opportunity to live in China for a year is an amazing one. It would be a whole new way of life, a new culture to immerse myself in. The accommodation looks OK, the school ID be working in has good facilities. I’d need to get a lodger for my house in the UK, but it’s doable financially to work over there and keep my property here. So what’s stopping me? A year ago I would have jumped at it. The chance of escaping the rubbish life I had then. But since then, I’ve built better relationships with friends, and I’ve felt more included and more committed to my voluntary commitments. A year ago I could have walked away from them all so much more easily, now I’m less sure that I can or even that I want to.
The chance of doing secondary school teacher training in Maths is very appealing. The chance to make a real difference to children in this country. I’m not near to getting an interview for that though. I can’t submit the application until references are in and I’m still waiting for one. At the speed things are going, it’s getting less likely that I will get on a course this year.
And the job in my old career. I could do it, it’s better money than I’d be on as a teacher. But I’d need to relocate as it’s over 60 miles away and far to far to commute each day. I love the city I live near, and the friends I have here. Again, I don’t want to lose them, but at least I’d be in the same country and it would be easier to visit friends than if I moved to China. But this job could end up as bad for me as my old one was. I have a few more days til I need submit the application.
The opportunities in England might not come to anything, the only definite option at the moment is moving to work in China. I’ve a few days to decide.